“For a second…”

February 7th, 2013
by: 17-year-old House Calls Counseling client*

For a second...

The feeling is indescribable.

My heart is racing faster with each breath.

For a second...

I've never felt so alive.

I've never felt so vulnerable.

My face...

It smiles no matter how much I try to hold back. 

You've made my soul awaken with pure beauty.

For a second...

My knees are weak and I can't stop the trembling.

For a second...

I feel like a house of cards in a hurricane.

For a second...

I wonder where you've been all my life. 

For a second...

I feel like there's no one in the world but me and you.

And for a second... 

I can't believe how lucky I am.

I think you're the one...

I think...

But SUDDENLY.

My heart skips a beat.

I finally realize it now.

My body, it's as numb as ice held in a hand for hours.

My face, it drops faster than a vase smashing the floor.

My eyes, they flow with tears that I just can't let him see.

I can't believe it. 

I just can't believe it.

He looks into my eyes, so confused...

I look into his, trying to hide the pain.

I feel like a once beautiful building, crushed by a tornado to rubble.

Why, just why...

Is my soul suffering so?

Why is the fact pulsing through my veins and becoming more painful with every movement my body tries to make?

Why cannot I not bare it any longer?

Why...?

Because for a second...

I thought he said, 

I love you.

    *Printed with permission from author